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Colleen Joyce
linoa
18 September 2010 @ 02:20 pm
I'm so good at double posting lately.  
I almost forgot that I wanted to talk about this, the last post is already huge, and frankly you guys are like the best people to turn to.

It's either you or go off topic on rpanoncomm and I'm kind of hoping that y'all have better advice than anon does.

Anyways, it's like this...

Hillary, my roommate if it hasn't been obvious by now, has been dropping hints for a while but I've kind of been brushing them off and ignoring them. Then friday morning happened.

So basically without being too long winded my roommate's fiancée more or less suggested that we should go on a date sometime and she's entirely okay with this idea.

This; however, weirds me out like no other. I mean, I understand open relationships, but from my understanding their relationship isn't anything of the sort. Not to mention I'm just... not attracted to the guy. He's not bad and totally someone that's easy to be friends with, but that's it. Not attracted to her either, just to have my bases covered.

The sad thing is that I'm tempted to go along with this despite having no real desire for such a relationship solely because it'd be nice to get out of the house more and he's great fun to talk with. (Hillary was joking about how we seem to have some bromance potential the other day.)

So, before I do something notoriously stupid again, I figured I'd come talk at all of you in hopes that maybe this time I won't gigantically screw my life up just because 1. I'm entirely too lonely, 2. I tend to jump into things for no reason, 3.... I don't have a three never mind, 4. profit?

So long story short... HALP PLZ I R LIFE DUMB AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOOO. ;A;
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[identity profile] lanafromoz.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 03:04 pm (UTC)
Obviously I don't know them or their relationship, but to me it sounds like something that could end horribly and things could get really, really screwed up. :/
[identity profile] lumati.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 03:44 pm (UTC)
That's because it does sound like something that could end horribly and/or screw things up.

And not just because my roommate tends to be a jealous bitch either.
[identity profile] carameltrap.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 03:11 pm (UTC)
If your roommate means date by hanging out together doing fun things, then go for it. If she meant it in like a threeway relationship, then I'll tell you to think about the pros and cons, not just for the reasons that you're lonely or on impulse.

You might have to share each other and it takes a lot to make something like this work. It could end up good but then it can also end up badly with hurt feelings and such. If you're uncomfortable about it or there's no attraction, then maybe you could just turn them down gently.

But it's entire up to you and the decision you'll make.

Edited 2010-09-18 03:12 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] lumati.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 03:42 pm (UTC)
I think Carl's wording was something along the lines of "I think we should spend some time together and go on a date sometime." more or less. I was tired then and I'm tired now so getting an exact quote or something even close to it would be impossible.

Ugh. Could not do a threeway. Sometimes it's all I can do to remember why I'm Hillary's friend let alone anything else. XD; I'm all for poly and totally get how that sort of thing works, but just... yeah that's not gonna happen here.

Turning people down period is something I fail at though, which is part of the issue.
[identity profile] carameltrap.livejournal.com on September 19th, 2010 04:07 am (UTC)
A threeway will only work if all three parties consent and are agreeable to it and there is the mutual attraction for all three. From your comment above about your roommate being jealous easily, that is not going to end well. They may have suggested it on a whim but when it turns serious, I doubt she's that willing to share and as I said, it could end badly, not for them but for you.

Tell them thanks but no thanks or just say you'll think about it.
[identity profile] kykou-yk.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 05:03 pm (UTC)
OKay, lemme see if I have the story straight. Hilary has been seducing you lately, and her futureu husband-to-be just asked you out on a date? When are they getting married?

It sounds to me like they are hammering out last minute insecurities about their relationship, and how strong or comfortable it is. They've lured you into it, because you seem to accommodate them both well. All up to you whether you want to or not, but just keep in mind that if you don't ask them what the detail are, you'd expect it to be casual. Plus according to your levels of what casual is, those are the boundaries you should follow. A fling (or so they say) is fun while it lasts, but you are getting the short end of the stick. If you want to feel the temporary excitement of being love, go ahead.

IMO, I'd............................. er ok, it really depends on character but I'd probably do it 'cause we're young and malleable. Just don't let it end bad, like is she possessive? Intolerable? what are the bad points of each of their personalities and how far extreme have you seen them act with it. Approach with caution xDD;
(sorry, I've been a bad friend to you lately =w=;;)
[identity profile] lumati.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 11:06 pm (UTC)
When? Hyne if I know. They were engaged long before I met her and that was years ago now like back in '06. So... probably far, far, far in the future still if I'm guessing right. So can't really say it's last minute anything.

Otherwise, definitely have a point about some of that. [Oh pooh, you so have not.]
[identity profile] planetes.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 05:13 pm (UTC)
Could you say that you feel uncomfortable with the idea, though hanging out as friends is alright?

yeah i don't know what else to say right now
[identity profile] lumati.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 11:07 pm (UTC)
That's entirely too easy of a solution therefore I can not accept it because I must make everything as complicated as possible.
[identity profile] evilwildlex.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 05:50 pm (UTC)
If I were you, I would say that you like him as a friend but only as a friend, and that you don't feel comfortable going on a "date" with someone who is seeing one of your friends. Then mention that you would be up for hanging out and stuff. Just strictly as friends.
[identity profile] lumati.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 11:14 pm (UTC)
I wonder if I could tell him that I think we should stick to having a rad bromance with a straight face?

I mean he's an okay guy and totally great for talking nerd stuff with and all, but there are other aspects about things that just show we're not very suited for each other.
[identity profile] evilwildlex.livejournal.com on September 19th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
Bonus points if you sing it. ^_~
[identity profile] trexaur.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 05:52 pm (UTC)
id just do it.
[identity profile] lumati.livejournal.com on September 18th, 2010 11:09 pm (UTC)
This doesn't surprise me somehow.