.... I apologize in advance to those who are not involved in this.

[linoa]

Firefox ate my first one and now I'm kind of feeling bleh about the whole thing all over again. Oh well.

I've been trying not to do this for months now. Fighting tooth and claw to keep from doing this, starting drama, from doing much of anything really. Lately it's been too much though and I've simply had enough.

First off the next time I see anything remotely related to "i'm not trying to start drama BUT...-insert something here- " I don't know what I'm going to do anymore. Okay, you don't want to start drama but you're going to start drama anyway because -insert something here-? Also I've noticed it seems to be you wait until I'm in a good mood and then totally slag all over it too which that's a pretty pissy thing to do.

Take yesterday. Out of seemingly nowhere you come and dump a load of shit on my lap while i was busy wanting to soak in the happy warm fuzzies that I'd gotten from American Idol. They were great warm fuzzies too. So was the pettiness just towards me or were you just trying to spoil things further because you're butthurt Allison left a week earlier than she should have? I'm pmsing right now but that's got nothing to do with this except maybe for an added dash of snark Blame House, his attitude is catching. Just ask my parents.

So let's get into what you said last night. Yes it's paraphrased because I'm putting this out for the public to see and there were certain bits that didn't need to be known.

"And I don't know why the fuck your so hostile towards me lately (like ever since you got with Hime for instance?) but seriously? You've known me longer and you should respect me. :\ But I'm not really gonna get into some uber argument with you about it. It's not worth the drama that might get started over it, and the last person I really want to talk to is Hime. :\ .....I hope perhaps the time away from each other will give you time to realize one of two things. Hime wouldn't be where she is right now if it weren't for me....And I'm obviously not a fake, who wants to just cause trouble :\ Oh and three. I care about you :\ Look, I'm sorry, I'm just sick of competing with someone who really... in 2 months from now is just going to throw you out like last weeks trash :\ And the only thing that I'll really gonna be able to say when that happens is I told you so"I'm also extremely sick... (well my body is anyways) And I know that sounds like excuses :\ But look back at all the poor excuses you've made for your self after all the times you've said hurtful things to me. :\ ....I'm not trying to start drama."
Ignoring the part about not wanting to start arguements and drama as I already covered that...

Bros before hoes is that it? Except you've been treating me like dirt for a long while now so... I'm sorry I couldn't keep up my cheerful perkiness. Even dogs stop being so omg adoring if you kick them enough. And you talk about me like I'm so freaking bad and the only one who's done mean or stupid stuff. Do I need to remind you about the time you decided I was a heinous bitch and didn't want anything to do with me because Momo was your bff and all you needed? FOR THE RECORD i HOLD NOTHING AGAINST MOMO FOR THIS. Seriously, she and I need to talk more if anything.

You do realize that perhaps Sunny and I have more to talk about than you? In fact you don't parcitularly come up at all as she doesn't like talking about you and I fully respect her reasoning. I've brought you up maybe twice in the last two weeks Twice. Because you know we spend all our time talking about you and calling you names after all. Yes, sarcasm, but I'm good with it so deal. I'm not going to explain it away as pms but more me finally saying what I've wanted to say but haven't because I had thought we were still kind of friends and I've been trying my hardest to be as nice as I could manage.

I've had enough of you and your subtle insults. I've had enough of how you feel you can slight me and everyone else but no one else can even say "Yeah? Well you are too" without you getting your feelings hurt over the matter. I'm tired of how every time I talk to you lately it feels like you are judging me. I'm just freaking tired of this relationship. I heard at my parents church once that sometimes if a relationship does more downdragging than uplifting it's time to let it go. Maybe they're right.

I've been holding on to this relationship so damn hard because I've known you for what, six or seven years now? Maybe some day after we've both matured some more we can reconnect but right now... I don't think I can continue to handle this.

Also the crack about my relationship was uncalled for. You can diss me all the hell you want and you're good at it, but what right do you think you have to pronounce from your sanctimonious soapbox that sort of hurtful garbage about my relationship with Sunny? When the hell did any god or goddess die and give you their spot?

Maybe Gwen is right. Maybe I am manipulative, deceitful, bitchy, and utterly self centered. I've kind of come to accept that. So maybe I'm not that good of a person but at least I've come to terms with that and accepted what I am.

P.S? If something happens and Sunny and I do break up. (Which I wouldn't blame her really I'm no prize and I certainly wouldn't want to date me if I was someone else) then I can promise I wouldn't be going to you to cry about it. Meg maybe, you? Not a chance.

Basically? As of that comment you left on my msn last night? I seriously think it might be best if you took your Danny Gokey ways and left. Is this the last we'll hear from each other? No probably not. Just like I'm sure Gokey will have an album out sooner or later I'm sure I'll be hearing more from you sometime.

I'm not changing my msn for a little while and since my wife paid for my account here my lj will not be moving as I'm not that much of an ungrateful wretch to do that sort of thing. So feel free to comment here or on msn when I'm back from dinner and unblock you so you can talk.>
Mia, Rei. This directly had nothing to do with you but I understand these things tend to snowball so if you have anything you want to say to me on the matter, please feel free too... I understand fully.

"Why, you wanna tell me how to live my life?
Who, are you to tell me if it's black or white?
Oh, if there is one thing I hang on to,
That gets me through the night.
I ain't gonna do what I don't want to,
I'm gonna live my life.
Shining like a diamond, rolling with the dice,
Standing on the ledge, I'll show the wind how to fly.
When the world gets in my FACE,
I say, Have A Nice Day.
When The world keeps trying to drag me down,
Gotta raise my hands, gonna stand my ground.
I say, hey, Have A Nice Day"
~Excerpt from "Have a nice day" by Bon Jovi

Lena, Mia, Rei, Sunny, Meg, and co should all read this. Anyone else feel free if your curious what I've been up to lately or just feel like being nosy.

Comments

[fuegofeather.livejournal.com]

Fuck, wife, I'm proud of you, why would you think otherwise? Sometimes drama happens, but you deserve to speak your mind.

And lol...how totally uncalled for. I'm beyond angry with them, actually, but what's new? I'm not gonna add to that. Our relationship is no one's goddamn business unless they're also involved, and I'm happier than I've ever been with you, Megu, and our systems together.

I don't care if anyone thinks you're bitchy or self centered, I love you as you are, and these things don't matter. We have our plans, and we have our lovers, all that stands in the way is time♥

[xevias.livejournal.com]

I'm on nobody's side but my own, and truth be told, calling her a fake was a step too far. You don't get to dictate who is "real" or not, love. I've been there, and it's honestly something beyond horrible to say to anyone. Even your worst enemies.

On the other hand, insulting your relationships was also a bit too much for her part. Yeah okay I feel second rate because of it, but that's the only thing I've commented about that. Also, respect is earned, not taken. It doesn't matter if you've known each other for a billion light years; if she doesn't respect you because of something, then that's that. You can't make someone respect you.

And yes, that's all I have to say about this. Needless to say, if shit happens to hit the fan, I'd head for the hills. Cowardly? Not so much. Tired of all these fighting? Very much so. We're all adults here, and I'm sure we can talk about this without calling each other fakes and insulting someone else's relationships.

Seemingly the only person who grew up here,
Keri

[lumati.livejournal.com]

I don't remember ever calling her fake so... I'm kinda miffed by that whole part. If you'd like to explain it to me I'm more than open to listening.

Ilu~

[xevias.livejournal.com]

Maybe you didn't, but from what I heard, Hime did. I don't know the reason why Lena got called a fake, but I don't think anything would justify the insult.

ilutoo.

[fuegofeather.livejournal.com]

Aha, I'm sure I did at one point, unfortunately, but lol, it got thrown right back at me the last time shit happened, so idc what they say anymore. All I care about is them getting involved in stuff that isn't their business. :/

[xevias.livejournal.com]

A lot of shit seems to hit the fan huh.

[lumati.livejournal.com]

She and I just talked about it and neither one of us can remember any instances like that especially from my end. Even if Sunny DID say something along those lines at some point or other.. what's the point in bitching me out for it?

There was the whole think about calling her Sparkles as a Twilight reference but that had nothing to do with being fake or anything. Tbh I think it's kind of cute as far as nicknames go

[fuegofeather.livejournal.com]

I had said to them in the past that I didn't believe she was an Orihime. That's as close as I can come to me calling them fake. But it's true, it's not my place to say who is what. But when they get nasty about you and I being together, I will raise hell, k.

[xevias.livejournal.com]

I didn't bitch you out for it; I was commenting on it. You said to comment with how we felt about this whole thing right?

-flails-

[lumati.livejournal.com]

NO NO NO! Not YOU! I meant Lena!

Re: -flails-

[xevias.livejournal.com]

... ilu but next time, please say that earlier. *feels like such a failure now*

Re: -flails-

[lumati.livejournal.com]

-had thought it was obvious sorry-

ilu2~

Re: -flails-

[xevias.livejournal.com]

Well okay, so it was. Sort of. But we all know how much of a failure I am, y/y. >o>;;

[lumati.livejournal.com]

Ffffff

You are not a failure but a bunch of awesomey goodness. -glomps-

[xevias.livejournal.com]

Don't you mean marshmellow-y? XD

;o; *snuggles?*

[lumati.livejournal.com]

Definitly. Wrap you up, take you home, and make s'mores out of you goodness.

&hearts

[xevias.livejournal.com]

... You can make s'mores out of marshmellows? o__O

♥~

You do know what a s'more is don't you?

[lumati.livejournal.com]

"A s'more is a traditional campfire treat popular in the United States and Canada, consisting of a roasted marshmallow and a layer of chocolate sandwiched between two pieces of graham cracker."

So yeah... I think marshmallow's are needed. >.>

Re: You do know what a s'more is don't you?

[xevias.livejournal.com]

....

I rest my case. ♥

[lumati.livejournal.com]

jhgadfa;jds;fhasf You're too cute sometimes.

-smooshes-

[xevias.livejournal.com]

FSHSDFJSKDHFS. *smooshed* T-thank you. ♥ :DDD

[pillowsofwind.livejournal.com]

I keep trying to reply to this, but everything I type turns out snarky and mean.. and even though I can no longer stand to be their friends either, I don't want to stink up your journal. XD

Kudos for being able to finally get this out. I can imagine it took a lot of guts~ Parting ways is a sad thing, but sometimes you just have to. Relationships that give you stomach ulcers aren't worth it. I love you, Hime loves you, your system loves you, and your friends love you. That's all that really matters. ♥

[knightofend.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna say one thing.

LET SHIT LIE EVERYONE.

I have no opinion. I'm just disgusted at the lack of letting shit lie.

[flying-songs.livejournal.com]

K I'm not even being dragged into this at all but still

CLAPCLAPCLAP BITCHES!


YOU RULE.




And that is all I gotta say <33


And no, that was not sarcasm. D: I really do think you rule. :D And yes we must talk more. I usually delete people off my msn because I don't talk to them often but we can talk sometimes Y/Y. :D

[lumati.livejournal.com]

Just not at 5:40 am my time. Because my brain is dead from a combination of no sleep and yuri anime.

[flying-songs.livejournal.com]

LOL deal. XD Whenever you want to is good yo~